i’ll pay you $7 to have a crush on me
when i see my selfie on my dash
911: hello, 911, what is your emergency?
me: help!! i lost my virginity!!
911: um im sorry.. but.. i dont think..
me: no, i lost my pet, “virginity” its name is virginity !
911: ohhh! xD
OK first you’re being a total dick right now,
being a girl is so expensive like
XL Shrek Dildos? expensive.