wrackspurter

©

indiandaughter:

i’ll pay you $7 to have a crush on me

tommypickles:

when i see my selfie on my dash

surprisebitch:

*calls 911*

911: hello, 911, what is your emergency?

me: help!! i lost my virginity!!

911: um im sorry.. but.. i dont think..

me: no, i lost my pet, “virginity” its name is virginity !

911: ohhh! xD

me: xD

(Source: surprisebitch)

sad-cunt:

even if im not horny im still pretty horny

(Source: carolxne)

ionlyfollowbadblogs:

Turn ons: common sense

(Source: ionlyfollowbadblogs)

thebsdboys:

OK first you’re being a total dick right now,

officialwaltdisney:

being a girl is so expensive like

panties? expensive.

tampons? expensive.

makeup? expensive.

XL Shrek Dildos? expensive.

whoredinarygirl:

applying for college

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titytwochainz:

remember when niggas had they voicemail set up to sound like they answered the phone. like you call and it go “wassup” u start talkin and it say “sike nah this my voicemail” now u lookin dumb as hell like

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